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| 03:07pm 04/05/2006 |
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362 days left |
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| ALKSNLAKMS |
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| 11:33pm 25/12/2005 |
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I didn’t want to update until I got all my grades in, because if I didn’t get good grades I would be devastated and would’ve been very depressed. So good news, I can be honest and tell you truthfully that I passed my class(s) and that’s the fucking important thing. This time, good grades mean a lot of different things. First off, it means that no matter what I’m doing, I can always say “Well at least I’m getting good grades”. You know, kind of like saying at least you got good health but that one doesn’t mean shit anymore and I really don’t have good health right now. Secondly, it also means I don’t have to be depressed when I work so much at my job. This is important, because it’s very easy to get really depressed at work, and then start becoming bitter. I think you kind of start to lose yourself when you work so much and become good at it, because then you realize you don’t want this to be your fucking dream. People who work a bit have to tell themselves that a lot, especially if there working a job that doesn’t have anything to do with what they want out of life. I work at Safeway because it pays well, not because I like it. So making my second point, having good grades gives me hope. Especially because of the bullshit fucking extravaganzapalooza time I’ve been having with one particular area of study. I’m not gonna tell you, it’s embarrassing. Ask Samantha if you really want to know, she knows the full story. And if you don’t know who Samantha is then stop reading about my fucking life, right now, you weirdo.
I mentioned I saw Nine Inch Snails earlier this month for my birthday, and I did. And it was good, and I had goddamed fun with my friends and my girlfriend. But I’m all Trent Reznor-ed out, actually, I’m sick of Autolux. I saw Autolux more times then I wanted. I wish a show consisted of just walking into the damn thing and already having the band you paid to see playing for you. But… you wait in line for a long ass time and then you waiting all crunched together and get tortured with a bullshit band and then wait some more and then you throw up. So my last show will be that one, for the time being. I’m ready to see some !!! if they play anything soon. My girlfriend bought me an iPod and I love it. Curtis got me the rest of The Work of Director Series and I really like that too. Lenny got me candy from Japan, same thing he gets me every birthday and I enjoyed that as well.
Christmas this year was very awesome too. Pretty exciting for me, but even more exciting for somebody who got to meet my family for the first time…
Samantha: I spent Christmas with Anthony, a very interesting experience to say the least. I forgot normal families have two parties to attend, one with each parents family, something I’m not used to because I normally just spend it with my mom. Anyway, I met so many fucking people.
Anthony’s Caption: My sister may smile a lot, but if you notice, it’s only when a camera is pointed at her.
Samantha’s Caption: Phillip was very good at comparing New York to a cracker, and then eating the cracker.
First night I met Anthony’s father’s side of the family. They were very reserved, and very Texan. They reminded me of Gustine, one of them had even visited Gustine before.
Anthony’s Caption: None of these women is my mom, thank god.
Samantha’s Caption: The one on the left is a fellow Starbucks barista. They sang white people music…
Second night I met Anthony’s side of the family. Hey Jen, he wasn’t kidding about being Mexican, haha. His maternal grandfather is very Mexican. I spent most of the evening talking to him about music, and the rest talking to his nosy aunt Raquel.
Anthony’s Caption: That’s the auntie who Samantha mentions.
Samantha’s Caption: The nosy aunt, and the reason she was talking to me (the booze). Ps. Jen, check out the Virgin Mary, hella beaner.
His mother’s sisters were very competitive, as I met them they all said “I’m the nicest aunt.” It was quite hilarious.
Anthony’s Caption: What the fuck are we doing, are we drunk yet?
Samantha’s Caption: I’m so not drunk but I wish I was.
Also, Anthony’s sister is very bitter.
Anthony: Yes, and now Samantha truly understands every bit of hatred I sometimes have for her. She got a spoon full.
Samantha: Anthony makes the most comfortable beds. Ask Curtis, he’ll second that.
Anthony: What are you talking about?
Anyway, so that is my good news and it’s probably just going to keep coming. So I will keep everybody updated. I hope you all had a great Holiday, because I sure did. |
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| 06:27pm 01/11/2005 |
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Didja happen to catch?
Or did it happen so fast?
What you thought would always last has past you by?
Is everything speeding up, or am I slowing down?
just spinning around, and I don't know why
All the pieces don't fit, but i really didn't give a shit,
I never wanted to be like you.
But for all I aspire, I am really a liar...
...and I'm running out, of things I can do.
I'd like to stay.
But everyday
everything pushes me farther away.
if you could show
help me to know
how it's supposed to be
Where did it go?
Pleading and needing
and bleeding and breeding
and feeding
and exceeding...
Where is everybody?
Trying and lying
defying, denying
crying and dying
Where is everybody?
Well okay, enough,
You've had your fun, but come on there has got to be someone
that hasn't yet become, so numb, and succumb
and
goddamn I am so tired of pretending
of wishing I was ending
when all I'm really doing is trying to hide.
And keep it inside
And fill it with lies
open my eyes?
Maybe I just wish I could try. |
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samanthany's journal