Samanthany.

samanthany @ 2006-05-04T15:07:00

2006-05-04T22:08:15Z

362 days left

ALKSNLAKMS

2005-12-26T07:33:54Z

I didn’t want to update until I got all my grades in, because if I didn’t get good grades I would be devastated and would’ve been very depressed. So good news, I can be honest and tell you truthfully that I passed my class(s) and that’s the fucking important thing. This time, good grades mean a lot of different things. First off, it means that no matter what I’m doing, I can always say “Well at least I’m getting good grades”. You know, kind of like saying at least you got good health but that one doesn’t mean shit anymore and I really don’t have good health right now. Secondly, it also means I don’t have to be depressed when I work so much at my job. This is important, because it’s very easy to get really depressed at work, and then start becoming bitter. I think you kind of start to lose yourself when you work so much and become good at it, because then you realize you don’t want this to be your fucking dream. People who work a bit have to tell themselves that a lot, especially if there working a job that doesn’t have anything to do with what they want out of life. I work at Safeway because it pays well, not because I like it. So making my second point, having good grades gives me hope. Especially because of the bullshit fucking extravaganzapalooza time I’ve been having with one particular area of study. I’m not gonna tell you, it’s embarrassing. Ask Samantha if you really want to know, she knows the full story. And if you don’t know who Samantha is then stop reading about my fucking life, right now, you weirdo.

I mentioned I saw Nine Inch Snails earlier this month for my birthday, and I did. And it was good, and I had goddamed fun with my friends and my girlfriend. But I’m all Trent Reznor-ed out, actually, I’m sick of Autolux. I saw Autolux more times then I wanted. I wish a show consisted of just walking into the damn thing and already having the band you paid to see playing for you. But… you wait in line for a long ass time and then you waiting all crunched together and get tortured with a bullshit band and then wait some more and then you throw up. So my last show will be that one, for the time being. I’m ready to see some !!! if they play anything soon. My girlfriend bought me an iPod and I love it. Curtis got me the rest of The Work of Director Series and I really like that too. Lenny got me candy from Japan, same thing he gets me every birthday and I enjoyed that as well.

Christmas this year was very awesome too. Pretty exciting for me, but even more exciting for somebody who got to meet my family for the first time…

Samantha: I spent Christmas with Anthony, a very interesting experience to say the least. I forgot normal families have two parties to attend, one with each parents family, something I’m not used to because I normally just spend it with my mom. Anyway, I met so many fucking people.

Anthony’s Caption: My sister may smile a lot, but if you notice, it’s only when a camera is pointed at her.
Samantha’s Caption: Phillip was very good at comparing New York to a cracker, and then eating the cracker.

First night I met Anthony’s father’s side of the family. They were very reserved, and very Texan. They reminded me of Gustine, one of them had even visited Gustine before.

Anthony’s Caption: None of these women is my mom, thank god.
Samantha’s Caption: The one on the left is a fellow Starbucks barista. They sang white people music…

Second night I met Anthony’s side of the family. Hey Jen, he wasn’t kidding about being Mexican, haha. His maternal grandfather is very Mexican. I spent most of the evening talking to him about music, and the rest talking to his nosy aunt Raquel.

Anthony’s Caption: That’s the auntie who Samantha mentions.
Samantha’s Caption: The nosy aunt, and the reason she was talking to me (the booze). Ps. Jen, check out the Virgin Mary, hella beaner. 

His mother’s sisters were very competitive, as I met them they all said “I’m the nicest aunt.” It was quite hilarious.

Anthony’s Caption: What the fuck are we doing, are we drunk yet?
Samantha’s Caption: I’m so not drunk but I wish I was.

Also, Anthony’s sister is very bitter.

Anthony: Yes, and now Samantha truly understands every bit of hatred I sometimes have for her. She got a spoon full.

Samantha: Anthony makes the most comfortable beds. Ask Curtis, he’ll second that.

Anthony: What are you talking about?

Anyway, so that is my good news and it’s probably just going to keep coming. So I will keep everybody updated. I hope you all had a great Holiday, because I sure did.

samanthany @ 2005-11-01T18:27:00

2005-11-02T02:46:58Z

Didja happen to catch?
Or did it happen so fast?
What you thought would always last has past you by?
Is everything speeding up, or am I slowing down?
just spinning around, and I don't know why
All the pieces don't fit, but i really didn't give a shit,
I never wanted to be like you.
But for all I aspire, I am really a liar...
...and I'm running out, of things I can do.

I'd like to stay.
But everyday
everything pushes me farther away.
if you could show
help me to know
how it's supposed to be

Where did it go?

Pleading and needing
and bleeding and breeding
and feeding
and exceeding...
Where is everybody?

Trying and lying
defying, denying
crying and dying

Where is everybody?

Well okay, enough,
You've had your fun, but come on there has got to be someone
that hasn't yet become, so numb, and succumb
and
goddamn I am so tired of pretending
of wishing I was ending
when all I'm really doing is trying to hide.
And keep it inside
And fill it with lies
open my eyes?

Maybe I just wish I could try.

The Lake

2005-09-05T06:23:25Z

The following morning we went to the lake. Lake Comanche is somewhere out near Lodi. It’s been a long ass time since I’ve been out to the lake, and Samantha has never been on a boat, well just until the day before. That was a big ass boat and this was just a tiny little jet boat.

Awwwww, there’s Samantha, happy as a clam. She thought boating was just a bunch of white fools being bored and just talking about dumb shit all day getting drunk. She was pleasantly surprised that it was much different. She said it best: “I thought it was going to be like, “Oh. Wow. We are on a boat. Fun,” but it was more like, “Motherfucker, we’re on a boat! Woohoo!”

That’s a picture of my dad getting ready to do his thing.

(Doing his thing)

After a while of sitting in the shade, Samantha and I went up to the front to get out in the sun. Neither of us bothered putting on sunscreen the right way so we both got fucked up.

That’s a picture of my mom skiing.

Picture of me skiing.

Picture of me.

So it was a pretty good day. After we got home, we realized how burnt we were. That shit hurts, and hurt is on until the next day.

Wanna read the rest? There’s more…

Back to Alcatraz…

...of the

2005-08-15T07:43:35Z

Part 1 starts here

going to be Samantha's first time going to an Aquarium. I was comparing it to the first time i showed her the song "Gave Up", and when she first tasted the Tomato Bisque i bought. I'm quite sure it was on the same level. So, I arrive late to Hayward, and we set off.

The path to Monterey couldn't have been more simple. Take 101 all the way to Monterey. But we managed to fuck it up. Just once though. And i can't even take credit for the fuck up, Sam can't either. Fucking stupid ass mapquest directions has us mind fucked, pulling every jedi mind bullshit on us to make her and I think we've fucked up. But we didn't. Well, we did, but we unfucked ourselves and were back on the right track.

it took about, ummm... i'ed say an hour to get there, minus the bullshit.

I had no fucking clue the line to get it was gonna be the size of fucking top gun. Lotta bends. I guess the remodeled it after last time i was there. The only thing i guess they remodeled was the entrance. We then laughed our asses off at the guy with the draon ball z tattoos. That;s right, etched right onto his skin. For life.

We then went the fuck in...

And then went right back out. Naw i'm just kidding.

These are my favorite jelly fish. Upside down jelly fish. They are awsome. And here all the other jelly fish i liked, the flower faced ones.

Sam saw something. A boat. How surprising.

Then, we decided it was our time to go home, and to take the mo bettah way. Back on the drive home, we decided to go (continued...)->

Demon Days

2005-07-15T14:10:11Z

In these demon days
It's so cold inside
so hard for a good soul to survive
You can't even trust the air you breath
because mother earth wants us all to leave
when lies become reality
you numb yourself with drugs and t.v.
lift yourself up it's a brand new day
so turn yourself round
don't burn yourself, turn yourself
turn yourself around
into the sun!

to the sun, to the sun...
To the sun, to the sun...

f 0$10/\/

2005-07-05T20:19:17Z

I had quite the weekend. I bunch of strange and unusual things happen to me, but those, I think I’ll mention elsewhere.

Samza, Jen, and her uncle.

We had to pickup some margarita pix and tequila in San Jose. We then met a member of Los Freddie’s(?) (Jen’s Uncle). Picked up her stuff, and then headed back…

…while taking shots of tequila…

…ooo, what the hell….
Oh, there’s the flash….

Sammie and Jen driving us home in me car.

That was all the depiction that night needed to get. I got fucked up. So fucked up I don’t remember most of what happened. But a little before that happened I remember me sitting on my ass outside, calmly and slowly drawing smoke from my camel crèmes. Slowly sipping the margarita, and then slowly repeating the process. I also remember going to La Piñata and getting a burrito. Or was that somebody’s arm I was munching on?

Last night, Lenny and I decided we needed to go see some fireworks. I guess the Plur Patrol was planning on going too, because I just showed up and there they all were. It was going to be a fun night, I could tell. Until I realized they were all acting a little funnier than they usually do.

Amber

Laura

Happy Girl Jen

Me

Rodger

It probably would’ve been better hadn’t they been around a bazillion people. Or been listing to that banjo shit they were playing. Or been in such an open space, or been so close to all the loud noises in general, and the kids and everything. It sounded like a pretty genius idea watching fireworks all shroomed up, but not with so much going on I guess. I think they should’ve gone to the adjacent field me and Lenny walked by that was completely empty. Anyway, since they left early I took some pictures for them to enjoy.

Have a good day Samantha, *MUAH!*, I miss you...